HE WOULD BE SIXTY-FOUR
By Joe Rush
You have to be hard hearted not to be touched by this article.
Hello Jack.
Been a while since I sent you something to read, but I had to write something
today for my own sanity and thought you might think it worth posting, maybe not.
I really didn't get much sleep last night. What I wrote has helped with today,
we'll see about tonight later. The young sailor who drowned in this true story
would be 64 this year. What a waste. I never read about in the papers because I
didn't want to know his name. I still don't. Does that seem odd?
Thursday, 3 February 2000:
I
didn’t get much sleep last night. My mind kept wandering to the Pacific coast
and to the Coast Guard men and women involved in the search for survivors of
Alaska Airlines Flight 261. This isn’t the first time my mind has wandered to
such events; the last time was when the plane went down off Moriches, NY.
Although
I have been out of the Coast Guard for more than thirty years, I still
try to keep in touch with what the Coast Guard is doing and where they are doing
it. And when I think of rescue efforts my mind always goes way back, back to a
different time and a different Coast Guard.
Summer, 1958:
I
was on watch in the tower, just starting the noon to sixteen-hundred watch at
my very first duty station, Virginia Beach Lifeboat Station. Vacationers were
thronging up and down the beach and boardwalk of Virginia Beach, men and women,
young and old. Since this was my twentieth summer I was very much interested in
the young female portion of this throng and I was keeping a “weather eye” on the
beach and environs. I was on the catwalk just outside the tower door, with the
door open so that I could respond to the PBX as needed. I had the binoculars so
that I could see what needed seeing. What I didn’t see coming was the thing that
would have a profound affect on me for a long, long time.
No
call came through the switchboard and no one ran in from the boardwalk, so
someone must have come from the Atlantic Avenue side of the station to raise the
alarm. The first I knew that anything was wrong was when I heard the familiar
commotion of the DUKW as it roared out of the boathouse, fully manned and siren
blasting. I called down below and was told that there had been a drowning just
about a mile up the beach to the north. I immediately felt that perhaps I had
been derelict while on watch, but I just as immediately realized that, even
though I was continually scanning, I couldn’t see that far up the beach. I felt
a little better about that, but not much, because someone was evidently dead.
Time
for my relief at 1600 rolled around without a relief showing up. I got a
call from below telling me that my relief was part of the DUKW crew and that I
should just hang in there for a while. I hung in. At about 1700 the DUKW and
crew returned to re-fuel and change crews. My relief came up, looking tired, but
it was his turn in the tower. He told me that I was instructed to report to the
boathouse as part of the next crew. Evening chow would have to wait, we were to
return to the scene of the drowning and continue in the attempt to recover the
body. The body in this case was that of a 22-year old Navy man from Little
Creek.
I
reported to the boathouse, boarded the DUKW and we departed for the scene. The
driver of the DUKW was BM1 Vance Miller. The other crewmember beside myself was
BM1 Bob Johnson. We drove up the beach and put out into the shallow surf. The
drill was to make north/south runs parallel to the beach while dragging a
grapple, a bar about four feet in length onto which were fixed several large
treble hooks, evenly spaced. Bob Johnson was aft with me, holding on to me to
keep me aboard, and I was maintaining tension on the line as the bar was dragged
so that I could tell if it came into contact with anything.
We
had made our first run to the south and were in the process of coming about
for a northerly run when I felt a tug at the end of the line. I had secretly
hoped that I would never feel that tug, but I announced that I had some
activity. Miller and Johnson looked at me as if they hoped I was joking.
Bob
and I began to slowly take in the line. When we had taken in most of the
line Bob told me that if we had anything, it would soon be visible. He was
right. My first glimpse of what I hadn’t wanted to see was of the body, totally
white except for a pair of blue civilian-style trunks. We hauled him to the
surface and were amazed to see that the grapple had snagged the trunks at the
small of the back without the even touching the body. Unfortunately, in the
process of hauling the body aboard, a hook sank about six inches into the boy’s
right thigh. I was astonished to see that there was no bleeding, not realizing
that this was normal. Johnson and I had just finished congratulating each other
on our finesse with the grapple as if we had done it by design, a defense
mechanism I suppose, and we were both disappointed when the grapple hook marred
what we had considered our handiwork. We settled the body into a Stokes litter,
covered it with a blanket, and set off for the beach.
There
was much activity on the beach and even a little polite clapping from a
few people, but I was in no mood to pay attention to their curiosity, and I
certainly didn’t feel like we had earned any applause. A young man was dead who
didn’t need to be dead, and applause for recovery of his body was, to me, an
empty gesture. I was in a mild state of shock, I think. After all, I was only
twenty and this was the first time I had ever touched a dead body.
When
we arrived at the lifeboat station there were police and medical personnel
aplenty so I went about my business, namely taking a long shower and trying to
wash my hands. It was four days before I felt that my hands were starting to
become clean. I didn’t eat much during those four days, partly because of my
“dirty” hands, partly because I didn’t have much of an appetite anyhow.
There
was no offer of therapy or counseling for us in 1958. If such were
available I wasn’t made aware of it so I just went on with life, but I was
forever changed and my performance suffered for a while. Whether my degraded
performance was as a direct result of my recent experience or just the effects
of being a young country boy far from the constraints of home, I don’t know. I
do remember that I was quite wild for a while. Then, after a transfer to another
duty station, my performance picked up again and I went on. “Onward and Upward!”
as they say. I managed to finish a ten-year career as ET1 and have not looked
back, except for times like these.
So
- when I look back and think of those who are now searching for and
recovering bodies I remember what it was like for me, and I wonder what it will
be like for them. What will it do to them? How will it affect their careers?
How will it affect their personal lives? Will it rub off onto their loved ones?
One can only hope that the Coast Guard is looking out for it’s own, as I know
it must be, and hope that recovery is swift and lasting for those who must go
out and do the dreaded things that must be done.
I
don’t envy them, yet in a strange way there is a longing in this old man to be
with them, just to help where I could and to share the load with them, and
perhaps share with them their pride in a job well done ... if I could.